The last few weeks have been interesting because I really feel like I am back in my routine (wake up, commute, work, commute back, shower, dinner, Netflix, and sleep). There have been days at work when things became overwhelming, and I felt some pain, but the pain is quickly forgotten later as it is swallowed up by other pain. Memories of the pain get lost in the routine.
The wage slave’s boring routine life is such a cliche, but it seems I am now living that cliche. In a way, I want to escape the routine. Lured by flight discounts, I have booked flights to Bali this December, but now I somewhat regret it because I just feel a reluctance to go beyond my routine. Maybe I am just getting old. I could go out and spend time with friends, but I feel tired of that now, and I’d rather just stay home, but when I am by myself I do feel lonely, and I do crave companionship, but I feel there is no one for me because I am too different to others, and the effort to find suitable people is not worth it because the time or effort to search and filter through people is too high, and the risks are too high. I’d rather just stay at home and comfort myself with electronic entertainment. It is what is most comfortable, but I remember someone at work once told me that comfort and pleasure does not give you happiness.
I spent a lot of time working nowadays. My manager has put a lot of work on me, but I feel I cannot push back because he recently promoted me, and I do feel some loyalty to him, so I have been trying to keep on top of the work by working weekends. Flexible working culture is starting to take off at my workplace, which I think is great, but sometimes I wonder whether it simply encourages people to work beyond their normal hours. Those who work extra remotely have an advantage over those who don’t because they are able to generate more work, and those who don’t work extra will be forced to work weekends in order to catch up and stay competitive against everyone else who works extra, so it creates a race to the bottom where everyone will be working all the time. I can imagine a remote work dystopia in the future where workers are constantly working. To squeeze as much work from them, there are no lunch breaks. Workers drink soylent for energy and nutrition. In fact, when you think about it, the current average lifestyle is not efficient. For example, commuting takes out one or two hours every day when you’re on the train doing nothing, and cooking and preparing food and cleaning up after also takes up large chunks of time. There can probably be some efficiencies there, but there is certainly a dystopian vibe to it.