Please Forgive Me For Yet Another Misanthropic Rant

My life is getting simpler, in my opinion. I don’t spend too much time socializing. I don’t spend too much time with friends or family, and I’m proud of that. When people asked me what I’d be doing over the weekend, I told them I would just be catching up on the reality TV show Australian Survivor. I love watching Survivor. I’ve watched every single US Survivor season, and now I’m watching the Australian ones as well.

There was a time as early as a few years ago when I felt like I needed to socialize, that I couldn’t stay home and watch Netflix. I had to be out with friends or get a girlfriend. Now I look down upon such behavior as superficial and wasteful. The problem wasn’t just that these activities are expensive. I would happily pay. The main problem is that people are either extremely boring or extremely vulgar. Humans are a despicable species. In my opinion, humans are unparalleled in their cruelty and evil. If I could flick a switch and destroy humanity, I would, but I would spare the non-human animals.

Among any group of people there is snobbery, greed, pettiness, and backstabbing. Anyone who is absent of these features is thoroughly boring, which leads me to believe that humans are inherently evil, and when they suppress their evil, they suppress their humanity, which ironically makes them as unappealing as they were when they didn’t suppress their evil.

The answer then is to just forget about people. I mostly just keep to myself now. Of course I go to work and cooperate with people, and I am a polite man, but I keep it to minimum. I won’t outright be rude to a coworker, but I’m not going to put any effort into relationships.

If life has taught me anything, it is that relationships are the worst part of life. I’ve been through so much that has opened my eyes to how bad people are. Being in a relationship and then going through a breakup is quite bad. Then I witnessed my parents divorce, and then I felt as if my father took advantage of me financially. I look around at people at work and I see only snobbery and greed. My mother just wants to use me so that someone can look after her in her old age. She doesn’t care about me at all. She just wants to use me like my father used me.

I dream of nothing more than to silently save a million dollars and then before I am forty, I will simply disappear. Where I will go is a mystery to me. Maybe I’ll go to another country. Maybe not. I’ve given up getting approval from others. I’ve spoken about my grand plans in the past and people made fun of me. They claim that it’s impossible to save up that much money. They shame me for not marrying, having children, and having a family.  They make fun of me for living with my mother.

I’ve given up rationalizing or justifying myself to others. Why do I need the approval of others? I will keep everything  to myself now. I save up silently. I even deny that I am doing anything. I purposely don’t know  what my net worth  is. When I am forty, when I should have well over $1 million in net worth, I will simply disappear. I will just do it. I need no approval from anyone. I will simply drop out of society and disappear, and I will live off dividends, as I always do. I will be completely alone, which means I will be completely free.

 

Hating Humanity and the Dream of Being an Urban Hermit #Podcast

Humanity is fundamentally and inherently evil, and being happy about humanity depends on delusion and ignorance. The only way to sustain lasting happiness is to turn a blind eye towards human atrocity. If you know the truth, you cannot unknow the truth. You are destined to being exposed to reality, which can disappoint you and lead to permanent depression. The solution is to shield yourself from humanity and live off dividends. Gradually transition away from forced interactions with people e.g. through work and family and move towards a more flexible lifestyle that allows you to move in and out of relationships and friendships with ease. There is nothing wrong with moving closer to feel warmth, but you must have the freedom to step back lest you burn yourself trying to achieve warmth.

Rational Misanthropy

It’s a Saturday morning now. I woke up at nine, drank a protein shake, and prepared a cup of tea. I’m writing this now on my laptop in a small room at the back of the house (see Why I Still Live with My Mother). I feel comfortable now but mainly because I am by myself. I’ve learned over time that not only am I an introvert who has difficulty being with other people but I am also a misanthrope who dislikes humanity. Google defines a misanthrope as “a person who dislikes humankind and avoids human society.”

Especially since I’ve gone mostly vegan I’ve just noticed that people are really cruel and evil, and this applies to just about everyone, even family members and friends. I pretty much limit my human interaction to the minimum nowadays. Rather than try to get along with others and improve my interpersonal skills, I’ve simply given up on people.

I know these are extreme thoughts, but I’ve had these thoughts for a long time. I keep thinking about this too often, and there’s nothing I can do about it. One option is to conform to society, that is, I can just be “normal,” be like everyone else and eat meat, get married, go into debt to buy a luxury car, and so forth, but this cannot be the answer. If I do what other people want me to do, I’m not doing what I want, and I can never be happy following the path other people have laid for me. The only solution then is to do the opposite. Rather than conform and go into society, I become a nonconformist and get out of the society.

I have recently purchased a book on Kindle called Gorilla Mindset, which I hope can help me with how I think about things in my life. Rather than be filled with negativity, I can replace negative thoughts with better thoughts, but I don’t want to replace negative thoughts with wildly optimistic thoughts either because this can be harmful. Rather, I should simply have factual thoughts.

I currently live off dividends, so strictly speaking I don’t need to work, so I don’t need to go to work and be exposed to annoying people. But my dividends are not that high, and I feel like I should be able to earn an online income before I go off and become a digital nomad.

When I’m a digital nomad, I imagine I will be a freelancer. I will base myself in Australia and I will be an Australian for tax purposes, but I will fly to other places for long periods of time, say, three months. This means I don’t need to worry too much about applying for long-term visas. My aim is pretty much to get away from people and do my own thing, and I think travelling achieves this. I can stay at home with my mother, but if she annoys me or if my friends or relatives here keep bothering me, I can just try off to Chiang Mai where I can be by myself.

When I am a digital nomad, I will pretty much be semi-retired. I will have enough dividends to support myself and live a luxurious lifestyle, but I will keep myself busy I will do freelance work via, say, Upwork. I am not too picky about what kind of remote work I do so long as it is remote and allows me to work by myself. Freelance work requires you to deal with clients, so of course that might be difficult, but at least I get to pick the clients I work with. If there is a skill I don’t have, I can easily learn it online.

I have no idea what the pay will be like. It might be lower, but it won’t matter that much because I will already have dividend income I can live off. This is just something I can do to keep myself busy.

The digital nomad dream within me has been strong at times, and there are times when the dream dies. For example, when I went to Bali by myself a few months ago I realized how uncomfortable and lonely it was being there. I have also felt more comfortable in my job lately because I have changed teams and I am working among better coworkers. But there are times when I am around very difficult people at work and it bothers me so much that the digital nomad dream is rekindled.

A few days ago, I met up with some old colleagues who now work in a different areas in the organisation. I mostly don’t see them much, but every now and then when I’m in the lifts, I bump into them, so I meet up with them every few months. I cannot be rude to these people because they technically work in the same organisation as me, but they are often rude to me, so I am thinking of deliberately being rude to them so they start to hate me and get away from me. This is what I hate about work. You have to be so fake. You cannot offend the wrong person and you cannot burn bridges with people, even those people you really don’t like.

I am also tired of friends and relatives who try to get me to marry. I am a male in my early thirties now. Everyone tells me to get married. They will me that a man in his early thirties should not be single and that they are happy to “set me up.” Many people say that this is how Asian culture is so I should just go along with it to appease my parents. But I feel like I should not do that! I should do what I want to do. I am quite tired of tolerating this nonsense. I feel like I need to rebel now. I need to muster enough courage to go on massive MGTOW rants at weddings so that people will get the message and leave me in peace.

Something else I hate about work is how everyone always brags about how important they are. There is so much namedropping and humblebrags. Then there’s all the gossip. Everyone gossips as if they’re in high school. Often when I go have lunch with people or go on a coffee run with them, they’re gossiping about this person or that person. I just find it annoying. I hate the 9 to 5 but I endure it because I need to increase my dividend income. 

Am I Misanthrophic?

I hate people. I am a misanthrope. There are times I feel lonely, and when people keep telling me how important it is to have friends and companionship, I give in and make an effort to make friends. When at work, I’d build relationships because everyone knows it’s important to network.

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But inevitably when I try to integrate myself into the world, I am so repulsed by how vulgar people are that I would quickly isolate myself again. I won’t make contact with my friends ever again, and if they invite me over, I’d reject a few times just to make it clear that I don’t want their friendship.

And I’d be lonely again, but it’s a comforting loneliness. When I think of how bad people are, it makes me thankful that I am isolated.

Of course, if you isolated yourself completely, you’d need to quit work, and if you have bills to pay then you’re out of luck because you have to work to make money. Work is a necessary evil.

Luckily, I have a job, and the job is not too bad. At work, I pretty much keep to myself and don’t get too involved in anything. I try not to make friends with anyone at work. I understand from experience that deep friendship at work can have bad outcomes.

I don’t mind working at the moment. I will continue to work, I will continue to save up, and I will see how long I can last in this organisation before they kick me out.

We live in a crazy world filled with evil people, and it’s important for everyone to have the ability to isolate himself from the world and live like a hermit if he wishes to. Sometimes you feel so drained by humanity that you absolutely must check out and live by yourself. This is what I plan to do. As I said many times already, I think I can currently live off interest and dividends, but only if I live in a country like Thailand, so I will continue to work and save and to accumulate recreational leave, and when thing get really painful for me, when I cannot take the world, then I will take a very long holiday, maybe two to four months off. I just want to see if I can live off interest in another country all by myself. Only then will I know that I can really be independent.