Please Forgive Me For Yet Another Misanthropic Rant

My life is getting simpler, in my opinion. I don’t spend too much time socializing. I don’t spend too much time with friends or family, and I’m proud of that. When people asked me what I’d be doing over the weekend, I told them I would just be catching up on the reality TV show Australian Survivor. I love watching Survivor. I’ve watched every single US Survivor season, and now I’m watching the Australian ones as well.

There was a time as early as a few years ago when I felt like I needed to socialize, that I couldn’t stay home and watch Netflix. I had to be out with friends or get a girlfriend. Now I look down upon such behavior as superficial and wasteful. The problem wasn’t just that these activities are expensive. I would happily pay. The main problem is that people are either extremely boring or extremely vulgar. Humans are a despicable species. In my opinion, humans are unparalleled in their cruelty and evil. If I could flick a switch and destroy humanity, I would, but I would spare the non-human animals.

Among any group of people there is snobbery, greed, pettiness, and backstabbing. Anyone who is absent of these features is thoroughly boring, which leads me to believe that humans are inherently evil, and when they suppress their evil, they suppress their humanity, which ironically makes them as unappealing as they were when they didn’t suppress their evil.

The answer then is to just forget about people. I mostly just keep to myself now. Of course I go to work and cooperate with people, and I am a polite man, but I keep it to minimum. I won’t outright be rude to a coworker, but I’m not going to put any effort into relationships.

If life has taught me anything, it is that relationships are the worst part of life. I’ve been through so much that has opened my eyes to how bad people are. Being in a relationship and then going through a breakup is quite bad. Then I witnessed my parents divorce, and then I felt as if my father took advantage of me financially. I look around at people at work and I see only snobbery and greed. My mother just wants to use me so that someone can look after her in her old age. She doesn’t care about me at all. She just wants to use me like my father used me.

I dream of nothing more than to silently save a million dollars and then before I am forty, I will simply disappear. Where I will go is a mystery to me. Maybe I’ll go to another country. Maybe not. I’ve given up getting approval from others. I’ve spoken about my grand plans in the past and people made fun of me. They claim that it’s impossible to save up that much money. They shame me for not marrying, having children, and having a family.  They make fun of me for living with my mother.

I’ve given up rationalizing or justifying myself to others. Why do I need the approval of others? I will keep everything  to myself now. I save up silently. I even deny that I am doing anything. I purposely don’t know  what my net worth  is. When I am forty, when I should have well over $1 million in net worth, I will simply disappear. I will just do it. I need no approval from anyone. I will simply drop out of society and disappear, and I will live off dividends, as I always do. I will be completely alone, which means I will be completely free.

 

Technocapitalism, Human Evil, and Sedation Through Technologically Induced Dopamine Spikes

I am a misanthrope because I hate people. It is not one particular factor that makes me disgusted with humanity but various factors. At work yesterday a colleague spoke to me about how he loves to go to the gym to build muscle so he can attract women. He is so superficial and status conscious that it disgusts me, and he is not the only one who behaves like this. This is normal behavior. If you are not working to make yourself appealing in the eyes of others, you are abnormal. You are not trying hard enough to get a promotion, get a wife, and have a family. Society and its cultural norms promotes conformity, superficiality, and a culture of appeasement and slavery.

Something I have been trying to do more of recently is to be more anti-social. I have a habit of catching up with people. I have lunch or dinner with various colleagues and friends, but often these catch ups are nothing more than bragging sessions for others to go on and on about how great they are. Many complain about narcissism on Facebook, but social media merely accentuates what happens in real life, and at least most social media apps such as Facebook allow you to effortlessly block or unfollow someone whereas blocking or unfollowing someone in real life is far more awkward. Nevertheless, I have tried to reject many offers to catch up with people. Sometimes I will just tell people directly that I don’t like something e.g. someone invited me over to a wedding, but I told her that I don’t like weddings. Sometimes I will just make up some excuse not go.

I hate being around people, but I cannot simply walk away from humanity because I need a job in order to build dividend income so that I can shield myself from humanity, so it is a gradual process. I need to learn how to be more assertive so I can be more anti-social so that I can isolate myself more, but at the same time I need to work in order to earn money, and I need to learn how to cope with being constantly exposed to the corruption of humanity yet not being affected by it by being fake and by numbing or sedating myself with technology.

I commute via train, and something that first shocked me about commuters was how fixated they were to their smartphones, but I realized that they are probably like me. Being around people takes its toll. You need to be fake, conform, and be a witness to the superficiality and vulgarity of humanity. When you walk away from work, you have a choice: dwell on it and hurt yourself more, or crowd out these thoughts by consuming something else from your smartphone.

Human history is marked by war and conflict. There is innate in humans greed and ego, and these emotions lead to conflict, violence, and oppression, which result in suffering and pain.

When you’ve spent your life trying to appease others and then when you stop because you realize that the opinions of others do not matter, then you feel an emptiness. You felt that life was all about impressing others, e.g. impress your manager to get a promotion or impress a girl to get married. But when you realize this is all a sham designed to enslave you, there is no point in your life anymore, and you must build for yourself a new reason for living. For me it is about escaping, being free, and being autonomous.

I need to learn how to clear my mind. I have heard that meditation is healthy because it allows you to focus and clear out distractions. I am mostly distracted either because I dwell on the evil of humanity or I am engrossed in stimuli that I have consumed in order to distract myself from the evil of humanity. I need to eliminate my exposure to humanity and then if thoughts of humanity emerge in my mind, I need to expel so I can focus on more important things rather than try to displace it with stimuli. The problem is that the evil of humanity is a potent stimulus, so to overcome it you need a stimulus more potent, e.g. pornography, and this is why I believe pornography is so popular. However, if you consume potent stimulus like pornography, you can become addicted to it. It distracts you from the evil of humanity yet it also distracts you from important tasks you need to do.