The holidays have been nice. It’s alway nice to take time off work and recharge. People often ask me if I’m travelling anywhere. This time around I am not going anywhere. I haven’t been doing much other than lounging around, relaxing, and visiting family.
During new year’s eve, at about six in the evening, I went to my dad’s house for a new year’s party. It was nice being there. I had a good chat to some of the people, but after a few hours, there was too much beer going around and people became too loud. My dad was drunk and stumbling everywhere. This has happened before during previous parties. Whenever my dad gets drunk in front of many people, it’s difficult to describe how I feel. I feel deeply ashamed and embarrassed. I just cannot believe that, when I was young, I looked up to this man. He was my father. I respected him, and it turns out he is a drunkard and a clown. He is not the sort of man I can be proud of. It just makes me so sad. Many people at this party were drinking and shouting, but I wasn’t in the mood to join in, so I left at ten, which is fairly early.
I’m trying to be true to myself more. In my twenties, I was very concerned about not offending others. I wanted to fit in. I was the nice guy. Now that I am in my thirties, I have made it a priority to try to be true to myself, to feel how I feel, to do what I want, even if it goes against the norm, even if other people in the room all think I’m a weirdo. As everyone was drunk and stupid, I simply sat there, and I even excused myself so I could sit in the lounge room by myself. When my dad walked by, I told him I was leaving.
I deliberately parked my car outside on the curb to ensure that no other car could block me. A very important lesson I have learned in life is that you must always have an easy exit plan, a way to get out of any situation if you need to. As I have always said, even more important than a plan is an exit plan.