Freedom and Being Yourself

I’m still having my moments at work when I feel like everyone there ignores me. But I remind myself that this is not too bad. It is preferable to someone at work bugging me all the time. I also feel as if I am settling at work. There is no sense that I will be promoted. I don’t think I have a reputation for being ambitious. Everyone tells me (including my manager) that I speak slowly and quietly. This communication style is not what is expected from leaders.

There are many ways I can respond to this criticism. I can complain about it, which will get me nowhere, or I can keep trying to work hard and improve myself. Of course I will go with the latter. When I speak to some people, I get the feeling they’re trying to make me feel inadequate because I haven’t earned a certain amount by a certain time. I don’t want to fall into the trap of telling them that I have settled because any confirmation of a lack of ambition will destroy my career, so I tell them I continue to work hard and improve myself. It’s all I can do. I will continue to work hard. Whatever my employer pays me is whatever my employer pays me. I don’t even need much. I’ve been working for about six years. In that time I haven’t gotten married or gotten a mortgage or gotten children. I have negligible debt. I’ve lived with my parents and, as a result, have been saving up about $50k per year. Most of this money is invested in the stock market, which has boomed thanks to central bank expansionary monetary policy. As Mike Cernovich would say, “I have enough. I am enough.” There’s no reason to stress about anything. It doesn’t matter if my employer fires me because I can live off interest and dividends. Cheap accommodation is easy to find on Airbnb, and a vegan diet can be very cheap. Freedom is not expensive. Accommodation costs about $500 a month, and food costs about the same, so $1000 a month is the bare minimum you need to keep yourself alive, and if you assume your investments earn you 5 percent, you’d need $240k to produce that amount, which means you’d need to work for roughly five years assuming you can save $50k per year.

I’ve been talking about the concept of freedom for a while with many people. Yesterday when I had lunch with a friend, he was warning me against posting things on Facebook that may destroy my career. He told me about news articles about employees posting negative things about their employers and then getting fired. I told my friend that I have tried to be careful in the past about making sure others had good opinions about me. I always tried to appease everyone: my friends, my family, and my employer. It was tiring, and because everyone wants different things, you find yourself torn between different views. Now I do what I want and if other people don’t like it then they can get stuffed. My friend seemed to laugh it off.

There is a girl in my life again, and I’ve been chatting on Facebook with her quite a bit lately. I am not afraid to tell her my views on freedom. In fact, she asked me what my ultimate goal was is in life. There is a whole body of literature on the internet about how to get women to like you. It is called “game.” The internet will tell you that if a girl asks you what your goal is in life, she wants to know if you are an alpha male (or a winner as opposed to a loser) so I suppose the best answer is to tell her something that will suggest that you will be a successful man rather than a homeless bum.

The whole “game” literature, in my opinion, is a load of crap. The basic idea behind it is that women want certain things in a man (masculinity, strength, domination, etc) and you need to do everything you can to give this to her. You need to be successful, give her money, give her children, and so forth. To me, this sounds like you are appeasing her. What kind of an alpha male tries so hard to fit into the alpha male stereotype just so he can appease a woman? A real alpha male will do what the wants to do and if a woman doesn’t like it, to hell with her! Too many men out there try too hard to appease women. Just do what you want in life. If a girl comes to come along for the ride, you may, but she doesn’t want to, that’s fine.

I know it’s a cliche, but I do believe that it’s important to be yourself when you are dating. I am a bit of a strange person. People have told me to be careful of what I say because I will scare women off. But what is the alternative? If I lie and hide my true self, eventually she will find out. Isn’t it better to just get everyone out into the open right away? If she is not for you, then so be it. You will meet someone else (or not). But I cannot imagine anything worse than leading a girl on to believing you are someone you are not.