Wealth, Wellness, and Women

I’m feeling bummed. I’ve been dating a girl for a month or so and she has called it off. It was painful for me because I thought everything was going fine. I guess I’m just not good at reading into how well a relationship is going. These things happen. Lately I’ve been spending a lot of time by myself, usually in my car where I would listen to various podcasts and think about my life. I do admit that every now and then I do visit prostitutes in brothels, and I pay $120 for half an hour. But after you have sex with many girls, you start to realise how empty it feels. I suppose it’s like eating. When you’re hungry, you need to eat, but once you feast on the same thing all the time, you get sick of it. And this I suppose is the distinction between sex and love. Love is the yearning you still have after you’ve had sex with so many women and still feel dissatisfied.

Something I’ve noticed about this blog is that it has lately turned very negative. I talk about myself a lot and speak as if I am seeking pity from others. This whole habit of self-pity or seeking pity from others is downright dangerous. It is beta male behaviour that I need to stop right now. I originally set up this blog in order to track my progress in becoming more of an alpha male and to help other beta males out there become alpha males. Being a beta male is a disease.

I don’t want to fall into the trap of putting a ring on the first girl who shows me even a little bit of intimacy. It’s common, I hear, for a man to be so desperate to have a woman in his life that he marries any girl he can get his hands on only to realize years down the road that she is not suitable for him, and she divorces him and takes half his assets.

I feel like a mouse desperately hungry for cheese who, while searching for that delicious cheese, finds a fellow mouse chopped in half by the claws of a mouse trap. The dead mouse smells of rotting cheese.

Don’t let desperation lead to disaster.

Wealth, wellness, and women — three things all men want. We want money, we want to be healthy, and we wants girls. I can’t seem to get a girl, so perhaps I should focus on the other two.

6 thoughts on “Wealth, Wellness, and Women”

  1. Whats your definition of alpha male? I feel like youre leaning towards a male who gets all the ladies and rejects commitment.

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    1. An alpha male is a leader of other males, or just a male who does what he wants. So an alpha male can get married if that’s what he really wants.

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      1. Like many things, being alpha takes training, so it takes time. I don’t think I’m there but I’m heading in the right direction. For example, an alpha male is selfish and does what he wants. This doesn’t come easily to me. It’s like a bad habit, and bad habits need to be replaced with good habits.

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      2. Ah true. So it’s more about doing whatever you want without worrying about what others think? Marching to the beat of your own drum is what you hope to do?

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  2. Yes, that’s what being an alpha male means to me. It’s about doing what you want to do. Expressed like this, being an alpha male sounds easy, but in the past, when I make decisions about what to do I would often think carefully about how I can not offend others. Perhaps this is due to upbringing. We are often taught to care about the feelings of others. Perhaps it is biochemical (e.g. there was not enough testosterone in my body). Perhaps it is psychological (e.g. I didn’t have enough confidence in myself). Regardless, not being selfish enough worked for a long period of time until I started to meet people who would take advantage of my selflessness. After suffering for a while, I realised suddenly that I was not selfish enough and that this was a mental disease that impacted negatively on my happiness. I resolved then to train myself into being more selfish. I’ve been saying no to people more and more. If there is an event someone invites me to (e.g. a wedding), if I don’t feel like going, I reject the offer. They are usually offended, but this drives me to hurt them more because, in order to be an alpha male and in order to train myself to be more selfish, I need to hurt my enemies and make them hate me so that they stop keeping me around to exploit me.

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