The Girlfriend Allowance

I’m feeling excited, not because it is almost 2015 but because it is looking likely that I will very soon have a girlfriend! It’s not certain but it is looking likely.

Having been single for the last few months, it is refreshing having a girlfriend again, but I do remember much of the negatives of my previous girlfriend. I remember the arguments, the whining and complaining, and the constant put-downs. Maybe it’s my fault for being too much of a beta male and not manning up. Either way, it was a bad experience, and I need to learn my lesson.

Something I will be implementing with my new girlfriend is a “girlfriend allowance.” After we are in a relationship, or maybe once we date a few times, I will ask her for her bank account details and will direct a certain amount of income from my investments straight into her bank account. One option is to plow money into a high-yield ETF or managed fund that pays monthly distributions (e.g. APN AREIT Fund, Firstmac High Livez, Aurora Dividend Income Trust, or Betashares Australian Dividend Harvester Fund). Another option is to borrow money, buy a small apartment, and ask the property manager to rent the apartment out and send all rental income to my girlfriend’s bank account. Either way, money will be sent automatically into the girlfriend’s bank account every month. I will probably aim to provide about $500 to $1500 per month.

I have never done this before, so I have no idea what the results will be, but I think paying a girlfriend allowance will help the relationship significantly.

One of the problems with many girls is that they are influenced by mainstream culture, which gives people certain impressions about how girlfriends should behave and how boyfriends should behave. There are all sorts of rules, rituals, and customs. For example, when it is Valentine’s Day, you must buy a flower and chocolates. When there is an event, you must bring along the girlfriend. You must shower the girl with gifts. There are all sorts of duties that the girlfriend expects from you. If you are a man who wants to engage in these activities, a girlfriend allowance may not be necessary. If you don’t want to engage in these conformist social customs, you will not meet the girlfriend’s expectations and she will start to resent you. She will then start to complain, whine, and give you passive aggression.

This is where the girlfriend allowance comes in. If you are paying a girlfriend allowance, then you can afford the freedom of doing what you want. You are no longer shackled to the duties and obligations of “boyfriend services.” If, for example, you do not buy the girlfriend a gift on Valentine’s Day (because Valentine’s Day is an embarrassing marketing scam), she may resent you and may consider dumping you. However, if you are paying her a girlfriend allowance of $1000 per month, she will need to consider whether dumping you is worth sacrificing $1000 per month.

In my opinion, a girlfriend allowance will also allow you to enjoy higher quality “girlfriend services.” She will treat you better because she knows that if she does not treat you well, she will lose the allowance and it will be snapped up by another girl. In labour economics, this is the theory of the efficiency wage. A girlfriend allowance is effectively a girlfriend efficiency wage. A girlfriend allowance will ensure that you receive high quality and efficient services from your girlfriend.

Paying a girlfriend allowance will also reduce the likelihood that she will dump you. For some men (at least for me), it is expensive, time-consuming, and just plain difficult to get a girlfriend. A girlfriend allowance makes it more likely that you will spend more time with your current girlfriend rather than spend time hunting down girlfriends at nightclubs, bars, online, or via friends or family.

A girlfriend allowance will also provide the girl will more confidence and assurance in herself. If you are willing to pay a girl money, she feels she is worth it. Once a woman is at the receiving end of market demand, a price on her services will increase her morale, and she will want to treat you better.

A girlfriend allowance also recognises the fact that being a girlfriend is quite expensive. Girls are required to buy appropriate clothes, use make-up, perfume, shampoo, and have gym membership. Attractive girls also tend to have specific diets. Looking good comes at a cost.

Another good argument for a girlfriend allowance is that love is too difficult to maintain. Love is fickle and temporary. In a normal relationship, the bond is sustained by love, but love wanes over time. As the girlfriend gets tired of you, her attraction for you will also drop. The excitement and novelty of being with other men will tempt the girlfriend (or wife). Although love is difficult to maintain, the girlfriend allowance is not. The girlfriend allowance (as I will implement it) is a set value of income-producing assets whose rental or dividend income is directed into the lady’s bank account automatically every month by the fund manager or property manager. It is set-and-forget. You only need to reconfigure it once you break up with the girlfriend and need to distribute that income to someone else (or yourself if you are single). Maintaining a relationship on love requires constant effort and work. It is like having debt over your head or being bossed around by a bad boss. A girlfriend allowance, on the other hand, requires nothing.

To conclude, although the girlfriend allowance or girlfriend efficiency wage seems to make sense, theory does not always align with practice. I will update you all on how things go.

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